Sacred Words: Journal Entry 1

journalentries

Journal writing is very therapeutic. It is easier, in some ways, to write down a feeling rather than verbally expressing it, and at times it is much harder. Keeping a journal, whether for words of expression or doodles, really does help in the long run to identify patterns of behavior/thought. I am noticing this now as I look back on a journal I began (though I did not complete, I rarely do complete my creative projects… I have many scattered about partially done) back in 2010, when I first felt the inner urgency to connect with my Spirit, when my depression was hitting its peek.

Below is a snippet of what followed. I did not include every little word here, some secrets are good to keep for the self ;). But the heart of it is posted. Maybe these examples I will be posting the following weeks (one per month) will help you, if you follow this blog, in some way.

I do not know exactly why I post what I do, but I’m sure if I meditated on it I would have the answer in an instant. I just write, brainstorming is my only outline [probably why my creative projects take forever to be completed… :P]

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“My name is… I have a mother named… My father’s name is… I have three brothers and two sisters. My sister is a year and a day older than me. We use to be very close while growing up, but the past few years we have grown a part… I have a half sister named… I found out about her [in ‘08]. She looks a lot like my mother…

Those are the members of the family I am closest to. In January, I REALLY hope my mom and I will be in Utah with her parents. We hope to bring some life to my grandmother for her last few years. I hope to get my first job so I can start saving for my dream place near Seattle. I hope to learn to drive as well. I hope to be registered at UVU so I can get a bachelors in Psychology. I hope to finish my masters and doctorate degrees in Seattle. I hope to be a children’s psychologist one day, work for a school or have my own practice. I don’t know, maybe both. I hope to have a series of children books as well. One’s to help kids deal with their emotions. Along with Psychology I’d like to be a writer of fiction. I have ideas for the many genres. All my writings will touch someone in some way… I’ll write for a variety of people so that everyone will hear my words… I feel a lot of the times my life is on hold. It’ll come together one day. I hope I am still young when it does.”

– Written: Sunday, 12-4-2010

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The journal entry was written over five years ago, filled with hope and wonderment, much of what was written in this first entry has, to a degree, come true; I have obtained my bachelors (though in Social Work), and I have worked for a school with children with emotional and behavioral problems. I do not know if I’ll be a psychologist per-say, but I am sure my work with children is not finished. I have not made it to Utah, but my mother is currently there. Seattle? I do not know how or if I’ll move there, but water and the northern west coast has spoken to me for sometime, so who really knows where my life path will lead me.

I am recalling on these out of intuition to analyze how far I’ve come in my life, and where I am yet to go. I am noticing many patterns in my writing, of which I’ve highlighted in bold. Much of my intuition, insights, and dreams/goals have not changed from the beginning of this journal. Some of it has already been accomplished, which I am fortunate for. So I do know I am on the right path of life, on a path with heart. Once I overcome fear, I can overcome anything. 🙂

I no longer feel my life is on hold. I know now that my life is moving/going as it should, and it is about initiative to get the wheels of chance moving in the direction I’d like them to go. Faith and hope are good tools, but they mean nothing without physical action. In the end, the action is what makes the dream/goal, into external reality.

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TINY NOTE: I meant to insert Fairly a Tale in my latest post in reflection category. Click hyperlink if you’d like to view it.

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