Walking Contradiction, the Price of Being Human


Zero Dean

Life rarely happens how we plan it. We can not predict circumstances, because even the best of plans collapse, and not because of our own doing. We can not control what happens outside ourselves, even with the best of plans. So why the f*** do we stress about the future when it does not even exist? I mean… from what I am learning in my ‘little/big’ life that nothing goes as I exactly plan. So why do we even plan? I think it is to help us feel better. Plans work best, I think, if they are made, and then not thought about. Once thoughts/words get in the way, it distorts true reality.

True reality, I am learning, is not what I perceive in my own thoughts, and since I am human, and human is a race, I think that applies to the ENTIRE human race. I feel the old mystics, the old sorcerers, were more than just hocus-pocus, voodoo/taboo, horse poo that people have made them out to be. Maybe, to a degree that is over looked by many, old sorcerers SAW how eternity truly is, how the worlds truly are… because a world is seen by our own awareness, perception, and that is affected how we SEE… and seeing is so much more than with the eyes. A blind man can see… there’s so much more than what our 5 senses perceive… then why do we worry???? Why can we, too, be naturally connected to the worlds beyond thoughts? Because of social conditioning brought down by our ancestors.

Something happened for us to develop a rational side…. Something that was for our own survival. But what that was/is, has been muddled and distorted. No reason for our reasoning has been confirmed. All facts change. We continuously go in a big @$$ circle. Nothing remains the same. Theories upon theories of everything are created. More scientists become rich with money or thought by their formulas that later on get distorted or proven false… and then some go crazy or bitter or, for some reason, genetics or whatever, become crippled or ill. Something always happens. Something always opposes the best plans, the best researched facts, and/or the best theories. Something ALWAYS in time changes a fact, either to disprove it, add on to it, or whatever… nothing stays CONCRETE.

I almost envy (though please do not count it as a wish, I do not want a genie to come out of a bottle and grant it just so I can learn to watch my words…) I almost envy the so-called insane. They are the truly free ones, to a degree… but that statement is false. I envy that they can access a reality that is in our own hands, surrounding us all internally and externally – very externally, beyond thought and emotion… just sensation. Sense…sense…sense… – I want the ability to access other worlds, to learn from them, and then come back to this reality… but to want is to think and to think is to enter an emotional state that’s connected to rational thought… and rational thought is not how we access the worlds around us… again, another paradox, another contradiction in the game of life… the game of life… with no winner… no winner… no winner?

Hmm… that’s an interesting thought. Life has no winner, so why do we worry, judge, and hurt ourselves? If we all enter the same way, and go out the same way, why do we bother with planning and developing and not just… I don’t know… LIVE!? :/ why did we make life so damn complicated to the point we lost ourselves… to the point we take our sanity for sane and real and the insane not real… to the point we create chaos and greed just because we do not understand US and the World beneath our feet. Earth… A being with its own hot core, its own nucleus… proving it is a living being that thrives on the elements we are made of, the oxygen we inhale, the carbon dioxide we exhale… yet we take it for granted. We fear the land we live on. And our own kind. We don’t understand ANYTHING anymore… and we Search for understanding within ourselves… only to find eventually we will, too, have to go OUTSIDE ourselves or risk going ‘crazy’ or ‘homeless’ and lost in another world… even if it is more beautiful.

As a baby we learn to think in words, definitions, and to hide/repress our imagination and cut the cord that connects us with the intricate worlds surrounding us. Yet we feel ‘something is beyond us’ ‘something is out there’ ‘something is within me’ ‘I feel the vibration, was that an earthquake? If it was, why was I the only one moved…’ ‘I hear a humming, but my electronics are off’ ‘I saw vivid colors last night in my dreams, I must have had a bad trip! Wait, I was sober…’. We use words to question the ‘awesome’ that we see.

We then feel special because we see it, saw it, then want to share it to the world. We write that book that becomes a bestseller because it connects to our inner being, and to others inner being, because we are all connected by some ‘invisible’ thread. We draw that picture that we think is nothing and find it means something and becomes what others call a masterpiece, and then we are mysterious because ‘how did that picture come to be?’ we question. And question, and define, until we are bored of it. Then it’s just a memory. A fad. Something soon forgotten… to never live again.

We think we are important. And that is our down fall. We THINK we are IMPORTANT, we label our self and our fellow kind. Why can’t we just be, nothing? Truly being nothing is the ultimate freedom. Accepting we come out of here the same way we came in: dead. Partnering with our fears instead of against them, acknowledging the ‘dark’ side of us without being consumed by it… without naming it the ‘devil’ or ‘crazy’ or ‘mad’ or… whatever.

I’ve decided I will be nothing. And flow through life with ease, taking everything as a grain of salt… so easy to say… so easy to do… yet, I am human, and human’s by our own created nature, like to be complicated… to complicate the uncomplicated.

I’m a walking contradiction. And so are you. So just be… nothing. Don’t think, just be, and in that being, you are doing… doing… nothing. Surrender to nothing… peace will then flow.

Stay true to invisible truth, the eternity surrounding you.

Inspired by works of Carlos Castaneda and my own life lessons.

Peace ❤

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