Sacred Words: Journal Entry 5

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1st day of meditation…

I left the house feeling heavy, nervous. As I began walking, concentrating on breathing, I began to calm some. When I sat down on the bench I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect, but that feeling soon vanished once I closed my eyes. I did my best to clear my mind of any thoughts. I concentrated the best I could on the spot between my eyebrows. At first I kept opening my eyes, but gradually it was easier to keep them closed. At first I saw only white and black. But as I concentrated more they began to turn into shapes. I did my best to concentrate on nothing but my soul, and tried not to let any thoughts enter my mind. It was a struggle, but half way through it got easier 

 In the first 10 minutes I began to feel calm, and in the spot I was told to concentrate on I saw a purple diamond shape. This kept changing. I kept seeing different shapes and my eyelids kept wanting to open. Halfway through, when I had cleared thoughts, I let them slowly open. When I did a tingling, warm, feeling came over me. I felt calm. I held on to this feeling the best I could. I let my eyes close again. This time it looked as if something was forming, a face maybe. But I began to lose focus when someone came running past. When I tried to regain my focus, the image forming began to fade. I still felt tingly, but it wasn’t as strong. This told me it was time to stop the meditation. I felt calm afterwards, and still do, lighter than before. My eyelids were heavy and I felt warmth in the center of my eyes, between my brow. I felt a calmness my whole way home, and not so many thoughts in my mind. Still, now, not so many thoughts in my mind.

Written: October 30th, 2011

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Check out my confessional category for more journal entries.

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