Don’t. Fail. You. Shine on, and repeat this mantra:
Don’t. Fail. You. Shine on, and repeat this mantra:
Below is a snip-bit from a Yogajournal article, Fear Not to, related to the benefits of meditation and accepting/conquering and working with your fear. Through meditation we connect to our chakra systems, our energy system, and through this connection, our emotions can be noticed, accepted, and decrease the affect of fear on our lives.
Featured image found on: yogalifestyle.com
…The truth is that fear doesn’t have to be paralyzing: For a person on the verge of transformation, fear can be a great teacher. But if you want freedom from fear, you also need to learn how to work with it…
“Meditation is, among other things, a journey through the layers of your psyche. As you move deeper, you’ll travel past the fairly superficial level of your conscious mind—with its mental chatter, problem-solving tendencies, and the like. You’ll also encounter your subconscious, with its insights, feelings of blissfulness, waves of irritation, volcanic pits of anger, or swamps of sadness. One of the great boons of meditation practice is that it can teach you to move through these layers without identifying with them. With practice, you learn to recognize that all this stuff is arising, passing through you, and subsiding. If you can learn to stay with your meditation when fear shows up, resisting the impulse to believe the story that fear is telling you, you will allow your psyche to cleanse itself of the fear. The basic practice is to recognize thoughts and feelings as just what they are—thoughts, movements of emotional energy, and nothing more.”
“As you practice noticing “Ah, here’s a repetitive thought pattern” or “Here’s a layer of fear,” you’ll eventually have the direct experience of watching these inner patterns come to the surface and then fade away. Over time, you’ll find many layers of fear, guilt, and desire begin to release. Meaning, they’re gone. You’ll no longer find your subconscious fear or resentment running your life from beneath your awareness. This is one of the ways in which meditation brings true inner freedom—it liberates you from being run by the emotional currents of the mind. And as you train yourself in meditation to hold steady with emotions and not be completely subject to them, it becomes easier to do this in life…”
“In the high-stress environment of contemporary society, the fight-or-flight response is triggered over and over and becomes chronic. Meditation will help you process that agitation, and part of the processing happens simply by holding what is sometimes called a spacious mindfulness. To create this state, you must first recognize the way anxiety feels in your body. As you breathe, tune in to the way it feels in your muscles, the different sensations it creates. Do this with a soft, gentle feeling of affection for yourself. Once you recognize it, you can practice releasing stress on the exhalation. As you do this, talk to yourself, coach yourself by saying, “It’s all right” or “Let go a little.” Don’t feel that you need to get rid of your anxiety all at once. Instead, use the first moments of your meditation practice to release, little by little, the anxiety that is layered into your body and breath…”
“As long as you identify with your body, your mental and social abilities, your roles, and your conscious experience of personality, you are going to be afraid of losing them. In fact, the ego is essentially a controller and protector, concerned with keeping “you” safe and improving your ability to cope. But most egos define “safety” rather narrowly. Most egos don’t like the unknown (that is, unless the ego defines itself as an adventurer, in which case it may feel more threatened by the ordinary). So when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory (for instance, deep meditation), the ego is likely to go on hyperalert and send out danger signals—in other words, it will manufacture or trigger feelings of fear…”
“In fact, when you go deep into meditation, you will begin to experience yourself as part of the whole, as part of the earth, as part of the energetic substratum that connects all living beings. At that point, the primal fear that arises from your sense of being separate from the whole (and hence subject to annihilation) can leave you. The joy that this creates is one of the most powerful gifts of meditation. Yet, paradoxically, this feeling of freedom is the one thing that the ego resists above all else! The ego will protest when you begin to experience the inner shift into meditation—that sensation of sinking into a deep place, or the sense that your awareness is expanding beyond the boundaries of the body. For some of us, the ego’s protest takes the form of pride—”Oh, wow, I’m making progress.” Sometimes, it takes the form of fear. Understanding this is crucial. Once you recognize that the fear is largely a product of the ego’s storytelling mechanism, you can work with it without being hijacked by it.”
“When fear comes up during meditation, two practices can help you move beyond it. First, imagine greeting your fear and bowing to it. Ask the fear what it has to say to you, then listen to the message. Tell the fear that you know it is trying to protect you, that you appreciate this, but that you would like it to back off for now. Then sit in meditation a bit longer, allowing yourself to experience the spaciousness that this will create.
When you soften to fear and treat it kindly (as opposed to trying to get rid of it), you make space for fear to relax. At that point, you will begin to realize that fear is not something concrete and solid, that it will pass, and that you can even see through it. You can recognize that it’s a natural reaction to the new, and let it go.
“You may also try the classic method for activating the observing self, the so-called witness of the fear. You can use any self-inquiry question here, such as “What is it in me that observes fear?” or “Who experiences the fear?” or “Who am I beyond this fear?” This allows you to begin to find that part of yourself that is unaffected by fear—the part of you that can not only observe its own fear but can also see it as part of the whole panoply of your experience in the moment. In this way, fear becomes less implacable.
Kinds of fear
A health crisis, the loss of someone dear to you, or a natural disaster touches two kinds of fear. One is the biological fear that is built into the body and helps ensure our survival. This is the kind of fear—call it primal fear, or natural fright—that gets your heart pumping, impels you to defend your safety, and ultimately protects you.
The second is psychological—the fear that you create by anticipating a painful future or by dwelling on painful past events. Most of the negative outcomes you dread will never happen, and yet when you think about them, you trigger the physiological reactions in the body that actual danger would set off.
A genuine threat will often activate not only the primal, biological fear of death but also your habitual anticipation of catastrophe. You can deal with the psychological pattern primarily by finding the part of you that is not touched by fear. However, in order to find this, you will need to become present to the experience of fear itself, rather than simply try to get rid of it. I believe that this is what you are being given the chance to do.
To work with your fear, you’re being asked to accept and even welcome what your health crisis is trying to show you—that loss and death are natural parts of life. The more you try to protect yourself against loss, the more fearful you become and the more likely you are to be thrown by the natural uncertainty of life. It’s a paradox that when you try to insulate yourself against the things you fear, you make yourself more susceptible to them.
When you accept that you, too (yes, even you!) can lose a job, lose love, lose health—and still remain you—you also open the door to recognizing your own place within the larger fabric of life. And, combined with your meditation practice, this acceptance of large and small deaths can, paradoxically, let you see that what is most deeply “you” cannot be lost.
One step beyond acceptance is the practice of actually welcoming the health crisis. When you welcome events that threaten your ego’s sense of well-being, you affirm the truth that you are bigger than the events, that there is a wholeness to you that can withstand even the big-time ego busts that come through sickness, loss, and failure. Welcoming what comes, whatever it is, is a powerful way of loosening the grip of fear and anger.
Hildgo coughs harshly as he walks up the snow packed path that leads to his mountain home, while securing the cloak around his core tightly, tucking his face within its collar, attempting to protect himself from the wind that is blowing. His mouth fills with mucus he knows is the color green and gray, mixed with the smokey ash of the mines he works in during the winter time. This cough is worse than last years. He spits the mucus out and watches it immediately freeze as it lands upon the frozen ground. His legs are stiff as he walks, and his joints pulse with pain at each step. He knows this will be his last winter he can support his family in the mines.
He enters the hearth of his home, and closes his eyes in silent thanks to the warmth the lit stone fire pit in the center of the room provides. His wife is knelt beside it, adding vegetables to a pot of stew over the fire. He nods in greeting to her, she nods back, then he asks, “Where is our Willow?”
“Exploring in the snow filled forest, you may go find her,” his wife responds as she cuts up the last winter vegetable to add to the water.
Hildgo goes to the back door and leaves without further word to his wife. He knows the path to walk to find his child, for it is a well walked one since before her birth.
He walks slow, but steady, for 30 minutes. The walk would take a young soul only around 15, but he is no longer young in physique.
He stops along the lake, and a few feet before him is his love, his soul: The Willow. Beneath the Willow tree is his soul companion, his Willow Rose. His pain grimace on his face fades into a soft smile as he catches his daughter’s image, who is gazing up between the bare branches of the Willow, lost in her daydreams.
He walks to her and stops in front of her. His voice is gentle but stern as he speaks to her.
“My child, you must learn a trade. You must become independent, you do not know when your mother and I may pass.”
“I am waiting, my father, for my love to meet me, beneath this willow tree,” responds the young adult child, whose eyes twinkle with the light of distant thought as they continue to gaze between the branches of the willow.
Her father smiles a knowing smile to his only beloved child. He hides the pain he feels in his lungs and joints, for the love he has for his Willow Rose covers the sting of physical pain. He repeats his words, knowing the more they are repeated, the more likely they will be followed.
“My child, you must learn a trade. You must become independent, you do not know when your mother and I may pass.”
But again she responds. “I am waiting, my father, for my love to meet me, beneath this willow tree,” with eyes still twinkling with the light of distant thought as they continue to gaze between the branches of the willow.
Willow Rose, a character I had in a game called Renaissance Kingdoms. The game has three ‘kingdoms’ connected to the renaissance era: Europe, Japan, and Aztec. This character is Japanese, from Shogun Kingdoms. I connected the main role plays I had there, gathered them into a document, and a collection of tales were created. This is, Chapter one, of Willow Rose, an imaginative piece of me, who kept me sane in years of confusion (February 2007 to August 2016). I Have edit the post only a little, you may take note as I post the chapters, the improvement of my writing style. Stay tuned for more throughout the year, one chapter per month. Enjoy. Further tales will include my other characters, Arial de Grey and High Priestess.
Collective works – Jung
True, the unconscious knows more than the consciousness does; but it is knowledge of a special sort, knowledge in eternity, usually without reference to the here and now, not couched in language of the intellect. Only when we let its statements amplify themselves, [e.g. numeral sequences], does it come within the range of our understanding; only then does a new aspect become perceptible to us. This process is convincingly repeated in every successful dream analysis. That is why it is so important not to have any preconceived, doctrinaire opinions about the statements made by dreams. As soon as a certain “monotony of interpretation” strikes us, we know that our approach has become doctrinaire and hence sterile.” [dreams]
A dream I am recalling now was one I had say… 5 years ago, I don’t know, I just know it was before we moved here to this house. It took place at night, I am unsure how it began, I just know it had star wars characters, maybe because I had recently watched the new star wars movie. My younger brother and I were the only ones home, he was helping me fight the clones inside, battles were going on outback as well. Soon I was in my kitchen fighting Darth Vator, but at some point I made it into the laundry room, feeling I was losing the battle, but then I was no longer fighting darth vator. It was now a man with short spiked hair in a white shirt and black jeans. I felt he was going to rape and kill me. But no rape happened, thankfully, but he stabled me twice in the chest with a butcher’s knife. I felt the prick of the 2 stabs. Before the 3rd hit I woke up.
~Work With the Pain (discomfort), not against ~
Don’t. Give. Up. And never forget to:
My blog is about thy self, and for thy self, with bits and pieces of me sprinkled with creativity.
Avidya: An identity crisis
“…the yogic texts call avidya—a basic ignorance of who we are and of the underlying reality that connects everything in the universe.
“When everything you have relied on seems to dissolve, you get not only a glimpse of the cracks in your psychological infrastructure but also a chance to examine the source of the problem, which gives you a better shot at getting free of it.
“The Sanskrit word vidya means wisdom or knowledge—the wisdom earned through deep practice and experience. The prefix a indicates a lack or an absence. In the yogic sense, avidya means something that goes far beyond ordinary ignorance. Avidya is a fundamental blindness about reality. The core ignorance we call avidya isn’t a lack of information, but the inability to experience your deep connection to others, to the source of being, and to your true Self. Avidya has many layers and levels, which operate in different ways. We see it threaded through every aspect of our lives—in our survival strategies, our relationships, our cultural prejudices, the things we hunger for and fear. All forms of cluelessness and fogged perception are forms of avidya. But behind each of avidya’s manifestations is the failure to recognize that essentially you are spirit, and that you share this with every atom of the universe.
“In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra II.5, we are given four useful clues for identifying when we have slipped into avidya. Each clue points to a particular way in which we take surface perceptions for reality. It cautions us to look deeper—to inquire beneath what our physical senses or cultural prejudices or egoic belief structures tell us. “Avidya,” the sutra says, “is to mistake the impermanent for the eternal, the impure for the pure, sorrow for happiness, and the not-Self for the true Self.
“If you explore this sutra, it can lead you to a profound reflection on the illusory nature of perception… The primary purpose of the sutra is to question our notions of identity. But, at the same time, it offers a window into some of our garden-variety forms of cluelessness.
“…On a deeper level, it’s what keeps you from seeing that your conception of “me”—”my personality,” “my self”—is not stable and is certainly not permanent, that just as your body is an ever-shifting configuration of atoms, so your internal sense of self consists of thoughts about who you are (as in “I’m pretty” or “I’m confused”), feelings like happiness or restlessness, and moods such as depression or hopefulness—all of which are subject to change.
“…when you apply the sutra on a deep level, you see that it is describing the ignorance that makes you mistake what is a passing state—a complex of thoughts and emotions and bodily sensations—for the pure consciousness that is your true Self.
“Mistaking the false self for the true Self? This is the essence, the linchpin, of the whole structure of avidya. It’s not just that you identify with the body. You identify with every passing mood or thought about yourself, without recognizing that within you there is something unchanging, joyful, and aware…
Wake Up Call:
“Taken together, these flavors of avidya cause you to live in a kind of trance state—aware of what’s obvious on the surface but unable to recognize the underlying reality. Since this personal trance is fully supported by the beliefs and perceptions of the culture around you, it’s difficult for most of us even to recognize the existence of the veil. To fully dismantle avidya is the deep goal of yoga, and it demands a radical shift of consciousness. But the good news is that just recognizing that you’re entranced is to begin to wake up from the dream. And you can begin to free yourself from its more egregious manifestations by simply being willing to question the validity of your ideas and feelings about who you are.
“…One of the great moments for catching your own avidya is to tune in to the first conscious feeling that surfaces as you wake up in the morning. Then, notice where it takes you…
“…This automatic process is the action of what in yoga is called the “I-maker,” or ahamkara—the mechanical tendency to construct a “me” out of the separate components of inner experience…
“…The problem—the avidya— occurs because you identify with it. In other words, you don’t think, “Here’s some sadness,” but, “I’m sad.” You don’t think, “Here’s a brilliant idea.” You think, “I’m brilliant.” Remember, avidya is “to mistake the impermanent for the eternal, the impure for the pure, sorrow for happiness, and the not-Self for the true Self.” In your internal universe, that means habitually mistaking an idea or feeling for “me” or “mine.” Then you judge yourself as good or bad, pure or impure, happy or sad.
“…What you’ll notice here is how the basic misperception—taking the non-Self (that is, a mood) for the Self—leads inexorably to feelings of aversion (“I can’t stand being depressed”) or attachment (“I feel so much better now that the sun is shining”). And these feelings bring up fear—in this case, fear that the sadness would be permanent, or that I was trapped by my genetic predispositions, or that I needed to change where I was living.”
Lifting the Veil:
“Dismantling avidya is a multilayered process, which is why one breakthrough is usually not enough. Since different types of practice unpick different aspects of avidya, the Indian tradition prescribes different types of yoga for each one—devotional practice for the ignorance of the heart, selfless action for the tendency to attach to outcomes, meditation for a wandering mind. The good news is that any level you choose to work with is going to make a difference.
“You free yourself from a piece of your avidya every time you increase your ability to be conscious, or hold presence during a challenging event…
Sitting with the Self
“Meditations that tune you in to pure Being will begin to remove the deeper ignorance that makes you automatically identify “me” with the body, personality, and ideas. On a day-to-day, moment-to-moment level, you burn off a few layers of avidya every time you turn your awareness inward and reflect on the subtle meaning of a feeling or a physical reaction…
“Avidya is a deep habit of consciousness, but it’s a habit that we can shift—with intention, practice, and a lot of help from the universe. Any moment that causes us to question our assumptions about reality has the potential to lift our veil. Patanjali’s sutra on avidya is not just a description of the problem of ignorance. It’s also the key to the solution. When you pull back and question the things you think are eternal and permanent, you begin to recognize the wondrous flux that is your life. When you ask, “What’s the real source of happiness?” you extend your focus beyond the external trigger to the feeling of happiness itself. And when you seek to know the difference between the false self and the true one, that’s when the veil might come off altogether and show you that you’re not just who you take yourself to be, but something much brighter, much vaster, and much more free.”
Article by Yoga Teacher and author, Sally Kempton
The way to the goals seems chaotic and interminable at first and only gradually do the signs increase that it’s leading anywhere. The way isn’t straight but appears to go around in circles. More accurate knowledge has proved to go in spirals: the dream – motives always return after certain intervals to define forms, whose characteristic’s to define a center. The whole process revolves about a central point or some arrangement round a center, which may in certain circumstances appear even in the initial dreams. As manifestations of unconscious processes the dreams rotate or circum-ambulations increases in distinctness and in scope, owing to the diversity of the symbolic material. It’s difficult at first to perceive any kind of order at all. – C.G. Jung’s Collective Works, vol. III
Sometime at the end of last year I had a dream about Jason. [continued on 7/28/2011]. It was as if I were in a movie. I was sitting at a kitchen table in a one story home that I had never been in. the table was round and oak, it sate 5. me, my sister, and Jason’s mother sat there. Jason’s mother told us that there are rumors of Jason returning, that he’s back in town. We were talking of recent murders that happened near the lake. With the mention of Jason a feeling of fear crept up inside me. In my dream I had a flash back of a year back (Jason’s mom, who’s my mom in the dream, spoke about Jason attacking 1 year ago). In the flashback I was in a car with my real mom and sister. He was about to kill us, my mom and sister 1st. I pleaded with him ‘no, please don’t.’ I don’t know what it was, maybe the tone of my voice, but he stopped for a moment before he was about to stab my mom, and looked at me. I looked at him as well. It was only for a few moments, then there was flashing lights of police cars and the voices of cops. They went up to Jason and grabbed him. He began to attack and killed 1 cop (there were 4). I got out of the car, I believe I was the only one in the car, I am not sure. I felt sympathy for Jason, I screamed at the cops, “don’t hurt him!’ all came to a halt, even Jason. All were shocked, including me, of my worlds and pleading look. Those few moments of distraction was enough for Jason to break free from the cops and run into the woods (car was parked near woods close to the lake). The cops watched him go. The scene then went back to us sitting at the oak table. I am not sure, but I believe the scene switched to Jason, as it hit night time (was mid-morning at beginning of dream) coming for me. Again, me, my sis, and real mom were outside, this time outside this home I have never been in. Jason ignored my mom and sister and came up to me with his machete. I felt he loved me, and knew I didn’t feel the same way. So he was going to kill me. Him and I were both standing into the street. I woke up when I realized he was going to kill me.
Possessions and a sandwhich:
Merry Meet, Merry Part, Merry Meet Again!
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