A Blast from the Past: A Little bit about ME

Below is a post about me, a post I wrote around 4 years ago, and posted on a previous blog, Tales and Insights. I re-read this post and noticed how much I have changed since I’ve wrote it, and even my writing has improved since this post. Stay tuned for more from me, and enjoy!


I’ll introduce a little about myself here and what I know, well, received by my guides. I began my spiritual journey in 2007, though I have really been on it my whole life. I see what I call “images” because I do not know the correct word to call them, if there is even a correct word for them.

I have learned, through reading about the unconscious and meditation, and also by talking to a close friend (who I met online), that these (some I wont say all) images are of my different personalities from my past and my future. They are what make up who I am. Many do not see these images, I guess many would call them “archetypes” that seems to be the common word for them (I think). I use to see them frequently, but once I began meditating they came about less. I mainly see now are twin boys, and a ballerina – symbols of my past, present, and future… I will speak more of the twins and ballerina later, they came about after I did an Apple Meditation.

I began writing in November of 07. I have many ideas for fictional novels, though they are not that fiction to me. They are about the archetypes in my mind and my different personalities. I have always been a quiet person, one who keeps to themselves and locked in their own mind. When I was a child I use to create stories of these images I see and many of the stories have stayed. One story I have finished (which is an 183 word paged single spaced document). In the beginning I meant for this story to be short, but it grew. I worked on and off for three years – it is a symbol of my life as it is now and in the past. It’s part of me and my family. I have about seven other novels yet to complete, and that’s just fictional work. I have a couple of spiritual stories started as well.

My major is psychology and sociology, but I will be beginning social work soon. I am at the beginning of my studies, but I still have received a lot of insights over the years of this world, and some hints of what is beyond. I feel I was brought to this world to spread the word of the Universe, help reveal those “secrets” that many have kept hidden. I feel I’ll make an impact somewhere in a major way.

I have many guides; I use to think I created them myself. I use to not pay too close attention to them, but one day a dawning came to me. I couldn’t ignore them or assume that they are my own creations. It wasn’t anything dramatic, but in ‘09, I’ll say sometime in September, I was sitting in my school library contemplating, again, about the world and beyond. I pondered about heaven, if there really was a hell, God, Satan, excreta. I saw a flash from the corner of my eye, to my left, of an image that looked to be a man. I felt its presence, though I couldn’t see it fully. This image told me I was one of the “chosen ones”. I didn’t know what that meant then, and even now I can’t say I am too sure. Maybe I am modest. The voice was a bit muffled, but its presence stayed. I can’t remember if he spoke to me more, he may have, but this image came more and more after that meeting. I portray this image as a he.

When I first decided to get in contact with my guides was, again, sometime in ‘09, but was earlier in the year. I’ll say in early March. I read a short book on Angels, I cant remember the exact title, but it was small. I read it in less than an hour. It said something about writing; sitting somewhere quiet with a note pad, clear your mind the best you can, and think of a question to ask your guardian angels. After you asked the question you must write the first words that come to your mind – the very first words which are hard to catch.

So I did this. I asked in my mind, as if I knew someone was near. I asked: What is your name? The name I got was: Ezekiel. I immediately became a bit frightened, I never heard of the name then, to be honest. Well, I wasn’t scared. It was more of shock and uncertainty, but I asked another question. I asked what is heaven like, and my response was: heaven is where all is in harmony with one another. All sing the same song.

That is not exactly what I received, but the message was short. It was about harmony, no one judged another the way we do here on earth. “There is an equal understanding that goes without words. One does not speak like one speaks here upon earth. The language is of emotion, a smile can say a lot.” That is what I received now (2/16/12). It was the similar message I received in my first meeting with Them. I will say ‘them’ because I am pretty sure there was more than one who was listening.

I speak to many different guides, both who have a voice of either male or female, but a lot of the time I can not tell if it is male or female who I am speaking to. The one I call Ezekiel is the one I spoke to the most, in the beginning. I know they do not have names. They give us a name if we ask for one, but it is more of a code than a true name. They recently told me that names are codes, but do not define who we are, but the letters have a unique meaning that fits each one of us. We have an earth name, and a spirit name. The spirit name can only be understood outside the body, but if one studies the art of numbers (not the math you learn in school, but an ancient art that takes years to master) you can learn your true name and receive certain messages more clearly. It is hard for Them to talk to us with words, they communicate with emotion. This is why at times, though most do not realize, that we just get flashes of places and people. Sometimes a place you may never have been, or a place that looks as if you created it on your own, but the place is real. Most of the great works of authors, such as Shakespeare, and other ancient authors that defined the way we write stories in the modern world, used their spiritual experiences and insights to create their worlds. It is their way to express their inner feelings and what they know about the world and beyond, if one knows how to decode their works they’ll learn great things… but it is almost impossible and a long process. Much of these ‘great works’ aren’t the potential they once were, but it is still possible to understand their messages.

The Angels, if that is what you want to call them, and the Spirits who speak to us they do so through the scope of our understanding. This is why many do not feel the answer they receive from God or the Angles, or assume they do not hear or are not listening. The Angels respond to you instantly, because they are always there and are willing to help you in anyway as long as you listen and speak to them. If you are locked inside your conscious mind, which many are, it is hard for their messages that come from the unconscious to reach the conscious mind. The messages, which come as an image or numeric code, come to the conscious mind as words, but the words can only be the words you know. It is hard to form some messages into words if one does not know the words that the message translates to. This is why it is hard for many to understand God’s message, which is sent through his guides (both who are the so-called Angel and advanced Spirits). An Angel is a pure soul.

Art is another wonderful way many of us express what we know, what we receive, and capture (or try to) what the others on the other side look like to us, and what the places beyond our scope of seeing (other worlds, other realities, dimensions, excreta). Art is another coded work. Modern art is not like the ancient art, many do not know how to capture a meaning into a painting, but there are still some great works out there that should be studied by those who want to. Art – of all forms including music – is a great way to express ones spiritual self. It should not be ignored or taken lightly, or taken for granted like it is by many.

I do a lot of drawing. A lot of what I draw represents, to me, the inner depths of my mind and my emotions. I will share a few of my drawings here when I feel the time’s right to.

Year 2 Wrap up

This year has been a reflective year, both of continual spiritual growth, and of becoming grounded into reality. Year 2 of my blog began with a Yogic post, of grounding and light, and letting go of samskaras, patterns of thought and behavior that which harm our view of self-worth.

Take in the autumn scents… take in the coolness of the air… let the scent of a new season, a new day, fill you… let it take your control and lessen it to a greater sense of existence… the existing in the here and now… let your mind rest, and cease to sound out repeated thoughts… let it too rest in silence… in an inner bliss, felt within and without, to those conscious of the vibrant energies around us all… let go of control… let in breath… let in the essence of life… let your light shine from within to without…. Let go of control… let in freedom… freedom to exist, to be your true, essential, pure self.

Letting Go, Ego

In a way this year was an intimate blog year, I shared more and more about me, my inner world, and through this sharing I have shined the light on the path to peace, a path I’ve always been on, but the light was dim. I only saw a few steps before me, and never focused on the light at the corner of my eye. But once I did, I felt, what it means to have inner peace…. If only for a little while.

om, shanti, shanti, shantini (AUM, peace, peace, perfect peace)

A Piece of ME

The Beatle’s song Let it be still echoes in my mind in times of trouble. Let it Be

The coming of the end of last year definitely was a time for me to let go of old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, and to have an invisible faith on something greater, success yet determined.

One can only believe entirely, perhaps, in what one cannot see.” – Virginia Wolf

Affirmation From the Dreamcatcher

January led to more self-reflection, some hesitation, and some fear, but all in preparation for me to become the best of ME.

I am scared, nervous, anxious and afraid. I am transitioning into a place in life I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be, and yet I am afraid to enter this place. I am literally, and figuratively, one step away from accomplishing independence within myself. I am coming out of the “unknown territory” and onto a path, although new, is one I’ve always envisioned to be on.

The Current ME

This post led me into a series of Journal Entries, of further self-understanding, a confession of sorts. The journal entries led me further into analyzing myself, and the discovery of what C.G. Jung calls, the Collective Unconscious. I have posted a variety of posts related to the Collective Unconscious, dreams, and self-reflection. The discovery of C.G. Jung works helped me understand myself, and that I am not insane, and the images I see within myself are parts of me.

Review my Confessional and Psychology and Tools for Self-Development categories for posts of my Journal Entries and works related to C.G. Jung.


Psychology and Tools for Self Development

I have also begun to share my inner world with you all, through posting my short stories, beginning with a whimsical tale of Flap Jack.

Flap Jack

Creative Expression

There are transitions frequently in our lives, and my own transition of becoming grounded into reality this year has lead me to Wonderment, beyond our earth, and to the stars that which we came from. Funny, that’s a bit contradicting; I am becoming grounded with my head in the clouds.

“Seeing pictures of the universe lets me know I am not alone. These photographs let me know that what I see in my mind is real, and not of my creation. These photographs let me know that in my meditations, what I see is real and not my creation. I am on the verge of understanding, if only for a little while.” ME

Science Wonderment: Black Holes, Time Travel

Through my grounding I have felt Subtle Freedom, and allowed myself to be ok with my heads in the clouds. I think, if this is even possible, I have been creating a balance of fantasy and reality, and in turn have found Subtle Freedom. Yes, my Yoga practice has helped with this, too.

 To feel the subtle freedom is to first empty yourself of thoughts and pent-up emotions, because they take up space and energy in the body. To release them they must be experienced – not held onto or ignored – but really experienced in a natural flow, even if it results in sobbing or shouting. It will pass, and when it does, and emptiness is felt, and that emptiness is where freedom is to be cultivated – serenity is forming.

Serenity is Subtle Freedom

Through recognition of Subtle Freedom I have begun to analyze my dreams, and share them here, along with the make up of dreams, brought to me to you from the works of C.G. Jung. They can be found in my Psychology and Tools for Self-development category.

All of these posts are related to the inner light, our soul, that which is the energizer of peace, serenity, and surrender. May you all stay blessed and prosper, within the light of the sun.

The Light of the Sun

The Great Om is hard to see, even if one is blessed to see the Glorious fiery white light. They can not see it on their own command. Many barriers have to be crossed to view this glorious light – even if this very light is calling for you. It has been calling me for years, this glorious light that lurks even in the shadows.

Peace & Love❤

Dream Journal Entry 3: In the Nature of Dreams

“The dream is a fragment of involuntary psychic activity just conscious enough to be reproducible in the waking state. The method of interpreting dreams would be to predict future happenings by recording images of the dream in a dream book and to verify the interpretation by subsequent events, assuming of course that the meaning of dreams lies in their anticipation of the future.

“Another way to get the meaning of the dream directly might be to turn the past and reconstruct former experiences from the occurrence of certain motifs in the dreams. From impressible to a limited extent, it would have a decisive value only if we could discover in this way something which though it had taken place, had remained unconscious to the dreamer, or something he wouldn’t like to divulged under only circumstances. If neither is the case, then we’re dealing only with memory, which is images whose appearance in the dream is not denied by anyone and completely irrelevant to for see a meaningful dream function is concerned, since the dream could just as well have supplied the information consciously. This exhausts the possible ways of proving the meaning of the dream directly. The words composing a dream narrative haven’t’ oust one meaning, but many means. Dream interpreting is in the first place at experience which has immediately validated for only two people.

“Even though dreams refer to a definite attitude of consciousness and a definite psychic situation, their roots lie deep in the unfathomably dark recesses of the conscious mind, called the unconscious. Since the meanings of most dreams aren’t in accord with the tendencies of the conscious mind but shows peculiar deviations, we must assume that the unconscious, the matrix of dreams, has an independent function. This function’s called the autonomy of the unconscious.

“The dream not only fails to obey our will, but often stands in opposition to our conscious purpose. Sometimes the dream deviates only a little from the conscious attitude and introduces only slight modifications; occasionally it may even coincide with the conscious contents and tendencies. Expressing this attitude in a formula the concept of compensation is used. The concept of compensation is different from that of complementary. The concept of complement is too narrow and too restricting; it doesn’t suffice to explain the function of dreams because it designated a relationship in which two things supplement one another more or less mechanically.

“Dreams are due to an incomplete extinction of consciousness, or to a somewhat excited state of the unconscious which interferes with sleep. Sleep’s bad if too many remnants of consciousness go on stirring on if there are unconscious contents with too much energetic charge, for they then vise above the threshold and create a relatively conscious state. It’s better to explain many dreams from the remnants of conscious impressions, while others derive directly from unconscious sources which have never existed in consciousness. The former dreams have a personal character and agree with the rules of a personality psychology; the later have a collective character, since they exhibit a peculiarly mythological, legendary, or generic archaic imagery. One must turn to historical or primitive zymology in order to explain such dreams. Both types of dreams mirror themselves in the symptomology of schizophrenia. There’s a mixture of personal and collective material just as there is in dreams, but in contradistinction to normal dreams the collective material seems to prevail. This is particularly obvious in the so-called “dream states” or delirious intervals and paranoid conditions. It seems also to prevail in catatonic phases, in so far as we can succeed in getting a certain insight into the minor experiences of such patients. Whenever collective material prevails under normal conditions it’s a matter of importance on “big” dreams. Important personal matters and worries account sufficiently for personal dreams.

” The schizophrenic state of mind, as it builds material, has the characteristics of “big dreaming”. It exhibits the same “numerous” quality which primitive civilizations attribute to the corresponding “it was magical”

C.G. Jung, Collective Works Vol. III


Dream Entry

In a dream sometime in February [2010]. I was walking on a cloudy beach with Blank while holding hands. We kissed then. Sometime before that dream I had a dream of an Eskimo couple walking on a cloudy beach. I felt love between these 2 Eskimos.


A smile is so sweet

When it is in matching rhythm of another

Smile tells a story

Filled with little mystery, but sure history

Few can read a smile

The illusion is easy to play

Smile tells a story

A simple gesture with complex

That many perplex

A guilty pleasure

More than many measure

Past the moment grace

That’s played upon the face

Ah, what is in a smile?

Few have known for a while

Let the heart tell

For the heart smiles well

-Written: August 5th, 2014

Monthly affirmation:


Kelsee Broadhead pinterest

The Light of the Sun

The colors are of great value to Mother Earth. They give life and strength to all living, and non-living, beings. The colors can not be described or explained, they just exist. They can not be seen by the human eye, but only by the blessed and wise. These are very rare. The blessed is hard to find, for they do not even know that they are blessed. This is what makes them blessed. They love all, good and bad, equally and wholly. They do not judge ignorantly, for they are far from ignorant. If you understand this, you may be one of them.

The light of the sun is of grand virtue. This sun is not our solar sun, but the one that gives light to all  beings, living and non, in all of the galaxies and billions of worlds (dead and alive). This light is rarely seen, only by those listed above (blessed and wise). This great light loves us all, good and bad, it does not judge us, as we judge ourselves. It does not make choices for us, for we make our own choices. It does not want our power, for it wants us to have Its power too. People confuse this, though. He doesn’t want to give His power willingly, because not everyone can handle the light and knowledge the light holds. It destroys the ignorant, the weak minded, for this reason, it is hard to reach its light, and those who tried, with no thought of only selfish, they were destroyed by the light, but by their own doing. It was not a punishment. It was a careless misunderstanding of the light.

Though do not feel bad for these souls who have took this fate. Being consumed by the light is a magical experience – you can almost be jealous of the fools. But please do not be, they do return, as a new born, ready to live again, for Eons and Eons and Eons, with little chance of seeing this great light. Yes, it is sad, but do not fear. We all have a chance to grow, to learn, to know. Each living creature gives us knowledge, no matter how simple or small. WE are to take in this knowledge, no matter how meaningless it may seem. This knowledge, even the knowledge the bacteria that makes up you, is what helps us grow. Helps us reach the great Oneness.

The light of this Sun is a humming glorious light… it is named The Great Om…

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            The Great Om is hard to see, even if one is blessed to see the Glorious fiery white light. They can not see it on their own command. Many barriers have to be crossed to view this glorious light – even if this very light is calling for you. It has been calling me for years, this glorious light that lurks even in the shadows.

Drunken Stupor – Racing Thoughts, Racing

I’m learning that what doesn’t kill you helps you grow. I know now, in this drunken stupor, what I don’t wanna be. I watched my life pass me by, as if a silent melody came and went with the night. I’m learning that I want to be of importance within society. Why? I don’t know, but what I do know is that it is more than a dream. This lucid reality…

I hear Rihanna’s song “Diamonds”… “You are like a shooting star I see, a vision of ecstasy… with you, I’m alive… we’re like diamonds in the sky.

This made me remember my first love who moved away three years ago. He now has a child. I realized the love I thought I felt for him was an illusion.

A lot of aspects of my life, I am realizing, have been illusions, part of a fantasy world I’ve been wanting to be real. I am moving on from the illusion of reality I created, to something greater, possibly greater than myself. What this means I have yet to know, but what I do know is that I see the light at the end of this winding tunnel. What that light truly is has yet to be determined.

Like a dandelion speck blown into the wind, so I will flow; flow with the wind to a space beyond ME.

Stay well. Prosper. Love. Peace  <3

Artist of set image: Seed Moon by Lesley Altlansky

Dream Journal, Entry 2: Dream characteristics and themes

 Dream characteristics and themes:

  • All dreams have patterns that can be interpreted.
  • salient characteristics; chaotic and multiplicity and order; duality; the opposition of light and dark; upper and lower, right and left; the union of opposites in a third, the Quaternary (square, cross); rotation (circle/sphere); and the centering process and radial arrangement that usually follows some Quaternary system Triadic formations are rare apart from the complexio oppostism [opposite complex]. The centering process is the climax of the dream, and is characterized as such by the fact it brings the greatest therapeutic effect. Mythology appears the same as these characteristics.
  • The collective unconscious conditions called “dominate” act as regulators and stimulators of creative fantasy activity and make corresponding formations by availing themselves of the conscious material.
  • Archetypes act as instincts in dreams – regulating, modifying, and motivating content of dreams. Archetypes are “spiritual” or “magical” and come in the form of spirits or ghosts in dreams, also as fantasies that have some sort of effect on the dreamer. An archetype is a spirit or pseudo spirit. They are the essence of all mythologies, religions, and magicism.
  • The underlining of all psychic energy is archetypal and instinct.
  • psychic processes behave like a scale – at one minute it finds in instinct and falls under its influences and at another it slides to the other end where spirit predominates and assimilates the instinctual processes, which is the opposite of it. Spiritual is opposite of instinct. Spiritual and instinct make up the psyche.

 -Collective Works volume 3, C.G. Jung


Dream entry:

The last dream I had before waking up was of Blank. I believe at some point there was 2 other guys, maybe friends of his, I don’t know. The dream had the feel of Utah, like the boys in the dream were his friends from Utah [he was born in Utah]. We weren’t in Utah, though. We were walking on the canal [near my home] and talking to each other. I felt the beginning of a relationship between us. I felt he liked me too in the dream. The dream gave me a feel of happiness. I woke up as he and I were walking back to my house. He said ‘by now I would be kissing you, but I know you don’t want that.’ I did, though, but my familiar hesitation was in me. At that moment I woke up. This was a first night in about a week that I fell into a deep sleep.

(Dreamt on Sat, July 16th, 2010)

Drive people crazy with happiness

Have a great last month of summer, and take note of the subtle changes that are hinting at the coming Autumn (Dragonflies, hummingbirds, tones of leaves and grass, the wind and rains, excreta.

Remember to always have a happy spirit, without a reason for it. Just simply being is reason enough to be happy.


A Tale of the Sufferer

There once lived a man by the name of Zoriah who lived the life of luxury in the city of Bethlehem. He was a religious man, who followed God’s plan, but he had his doubts that grew until he was well into middle age.  He began to doubt God and the way He ran things, because the city he lived in was in deep poverty, even though he was not. He noticed that many suffer, and he took this as God wanting people to suffer. He refused to follow his perception of God’s plan, so he left his city.

Shortly after he left the city of Bethlehem he became ill. He developed Leapers, sores formed upon his flesh, and he became very weak. Soon he was lying upon a bed, people praying around him, knowing he’d soon die. But death he did not receive, for he refused to die.

One day, while he lied upon his sick bed with these sores eating away his flesh, a healer came by. Zoriah only traveled a few hours out of Bethlehem before this illness took over. The healer traveled to him, he was asked by the man’s family to save him.

The healer went by the name Yeshua, but many began to call him Jesus. The healer said to Zoriah, “I will heal your wounds and make you whole again, but first you must answer a question. Do you believe in the mighty GOD?”

Zoriah responded strictly, “No.”

The healer nodded and began the healing process.

Zoriah felt a tingling sensation throughout his body. He felt it in his forehead the most; he felt his thoughts were being tampered with. He yelled out in rage. He believed that this healer was trying to change him, to make him believe in God again. But Zoriah would not stand for it.

He told the healer, “You will not mess with my mind, I will never trust in you or God!”

The healer looked at him with a calm sadness. Instead of responding with words he nodded his head. When he did speak, he spoke no response to Zoriah of God. “Your wounds are healed. You now can wander upon this Earth as you please.”

As soon as Zoriah’s strength was fully regained he left the home he was in and the city to spread his words against God. He gained many followers, but also enemies. He lived year after year, one suffer after the next.

He is now close to 100 years of age, his mind still clear, death calling his name each day.

Zoriah went through many trials and tribulations, causing rebellions against God and His work. He was thrown in jail many a times, beaten, at times tortured, and developed leapers again; sores all over his body that would kill any man in days, but not he. He refused to die. He lived through his illness, this time with no healer to heal him. He lived with the leapers that would weaken him, then they’d pass, but they’d always return.

So he lived another 100 years. One day he entered another town whose people did not stand for his words. He again was thrown in jail, but not the typical cell. He was thrown in a dungeon type place, a place pitch black. The door was shut and locked, never to be opened again.

So he lived, in a dying body filled with sores, a cancer now destroying his organs, no food to nourish his body, only the occasional rat that he’d eat raw while it was still alive. The only drink he had was the water that would leak through the ceiling after a rare rain.

He was in that dungeon for 100 years, he now can no longer move, his skin is like leather.

On his 300th year, the day of his birth, the door of the dungeon creaked opened, hurting his blind eyes that have not seen the sun for over 100 years. He would have yelled out in pain if he had a voice to. A figure came toward him, a figure of white light, a tall being that was all a glow.  He looked up at this figure and immediately knew what it meant.

The figure spoke, “it is time to come home now. Your time is up.” With those words the man did not object. In those few moments he learned the meaning of his life.  Why he was on this planet, and why God wanted him here and kept him a live all these years: it was out of free will. He had free will, the will he fought to keep, all a long. God let him live to learn the lessons he needed to learn. Through suffering he did find the path back to God.

He let the angel guide him home.

The door remained open, and the moment after his passing, and in came a girl and boy of ten years. They found the skeleton with the leather layer of skin, a skeleton of a man who lived 300 years. They came here in search for this very body, the story of Zoriah is still told in their town of Bethlehem, the story of a man who refused to die. They were not sure if this body was the body of Zoriah since it is just a skeleton. They left the cellar still full of wonder.



(Thousands of years ago people once did live as long as this man, some even longer. Many of them were wanderers, finding their way to self realization in the depths of nature).

Story Written: February, 2012

*Bog body found on google images, placed here for image purposes only*